The Ders Report
Holmvik International Sports Management

UPDATE - Locked out of your sport?  Play basketball?  Then contact me about playing in the inaugural HOLMVIK INTERNATIONAL PLAYAS TOURNAMENT!  

The HIPT (or, “Hip T” as it’s known on the street) gives locked out players a chance to showcase their skills for the international pro basketball market.  For a small percentage of your future earnings, Anders Holmvik will logistically take care of you, homie!

Our International Sports Management team will do the dirty work so you don’t have to.  

Need a deadbeat posse member tossed to the curb?  Heck, they ain’t OUR first cousin! 

Need a baby-momma’s mouth shut tighter than her legs?  Daddy who?

Need your brand expanded to new markets, reaching new heights, and breaking new records?  Just sign on the dotted line.

While our full client list is completely *confidential*, we are in talks to add the following studs to our HISM Stable—

  • Ryan Lochte
  • Mark Sanchez
  • Eldric “Tiger” Woods
  • Abby Wambach
  • Danica Patrick
  • Randy Moss AND Terrell Owens
  • Scott Van Pelt
  • John O’Connell (AKA The BS Reports’ own “Jack-O”)

And many, many more.  You could be on this list, *confidentially*, of course, all you have to do is want more.

Holmvik International Sports Management - Be the Best.