The Ders Report

I’m not one to gossip, but I just heard my coworker, Montez, have a real animated discussion with his wife. Seemed to focus on money problems (and don’t all domestic disputes start there, when you think about it?), and it was that kind of quiet-shouting that you can’t help but drop everything and listen to.

Well, it helped that Waymond stormed out of their shared cubicle, muttering about something that tipped me off.

I write this, not to shine a light on Montez (who thank god, doesn’t read this, or he’d be sending me joke e-mails and writing posts to use like I’m some god-damn Perry White), but to shed a light on his actions.

It’s just my philosophy, when you’re at work? You do work. When you’re at home? You do home… related activities. Bill paying, is one thing. Maintenance. It all has a place.

I would say, “Yes, I should just ignore it,” but Jet Set started hootin’ and hollerin’ at the call after about ten minutes, well, I think it was too his call he might have just been choking on some trail mix, but still, WORK AT WORK, people!

(Update: While I was drafting a rough draft of this post, Jet Set was actually choking, and Montez got off the phone to help him out. When it mattered, Montez’s head was in the game. I respect that.)

Unlike most Americans, I’m not afraid to venture outside of my comfort zone and try new things. I work pretty long hours and don’t get much time off, so even if I can’t go on a vacation, my taste buds still can. Last night I was craving a taste of the Orient so I invited Adam and Blake with me to try the new Chinese Bistro in our neighborhood called “P.F Chang’s.” They basically told me to fuck off, so as usual I went out by myself.

The restaurant passed my first test – parking. Tons of spaces, very well – lit parking lot. Upon entering the restaurant, I was immediately struck by the décor. It was understated and tasteful. Now to the food:

Appetizer: Chang’s Chicken Noodle Soup – 4/5. Unlike any soup I’ve ever tasted. This was a very creative and flawlessly executed dish. Imagine your mom’s chicken noodle soup on steroids and with a kick of spice.

Entrée:  Beef a la Sichuan w/ Brown Rice- 4.5/5. This dish blew me away right off the bat. The presentation was magnificent. The beef was sublime and cooked to perfection - really impressive depth and character. The Vegetables were very fresh and satisfying with just the right amount of spice, and a generous portion to boot. The rice was delicate and moist, an unexpected treat.

Service: 4/5. My waiter was efficient and friendly, and he recommended a fantastic sauvignon blanc. I thought he did a great job explaining each dish, but I have to deduct a point because I asked for a robust sauce and the one he mixed for me tableside was a bit bland.

Overall this was a terrific experience. My waiter even told me about the P.F Chang’s iphone app, which I bought right then and there. I will definitely come back here the next time I’m in the mood for an authentic Chinese feast.

blakehenderson:

Won’t need to wait for the Mailman after all— realized the only keys I have are to the front door of the house, and a rando one I stole off a steamroller in college.

Since I’m riding with Ders, and Adam has his keys, this should be fine, as long as some psycho doesn’t find the keys, recognize my Pokemon keychain, find our house and kill us.

adamdemamp:

Really don’t want to go to work tomorrow. Not that I don’t want to go crush some sales, but I feel like I need a DeMamp Day.

Catch some sun by the pool, make some pizzas, get back to my workout DVD business model… Know what, gonna go ahead and finish this vodka handle, I’m sleeping in!

Adam,

Thank you for throwing up in my waste basket and not changing the trash bag. Really considerate of you. Also, thanks for drinking all the vodka that I paid for and throwing a shoe horn at me this morning when I tried to wake you from your drunken slumber. Next time I’ll just leave you at home and you can deal with Alice when she yells at you for using a sick day when you know you don’t have any left. And why do you keep listening to Maroon 5’s “Misery” over and over again? Get a grip. 

blakehenderson:

You know what’s another good Shia movie, since we’re talking about it?  Constantine. 

Definitely has Shia doin’ some fun bits. 

Ders, Adam, after all this talk we should check this out tonight, or at least add it to our Titans of Friendship Movie Night Que.

He’s the LaBe-st.

Dudes, we’re watching the Greatest Game Ever Played as the appetizer, then feasting on Shia’s finest performance, when he saved Indiana Jones from the Crystal Skulls.  

Great Friday.

Watched a really interesting documentary about Shia LaBeouf on the Biography Channel last night… I think he may not just be the next Tom Hanks, but the FIRST Shia LaBeouf

adamdemamp:

I just forwarded your “Reply” to Heidi Stinson.  Bet you meant to take that out before posting publicly.  We’ll see what she has to say about your virgin status.

If I were consulting YOU Ders?  I’d recommend you proofread more better.

Heidi Stinson changed her e-mail address years ago, so if you got it out of my rolodex, jokes on you.  Good luck finding her on Facebook, too.  I’ve looked.  She’s off the grid.

And “More better”? Take your own proofreading advice, DeChamp (SIC).  Incase you don’t know what SIC means, I spelled DeMamp wrong on purpose.  I’m calling you DeChamp.

Apologies to any future clients reading this, I’m just dealing with a disgruntled ex-employee, he was never, nor never will be, a client.  My clients are always left satisfied.

I was Watching “Real Sports” last night and there was a piece about the link between concussions and ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). This reminded me of the line in “Ace Ventura, Pet Detective” when Dan Marino tells Lieutenant Einhorn/Ray Finkle, “I don’t know. I get hit in the head a lot.” It’s not so funny now that we know how serious the effects of sustained head trauma actually are. Still a great movie, obviously.