The Ders Report

Nov 23

A Stern Message To All Potential Intruders:

Attention assholes,

I might be on vacation, but I had the foresight to hire a house sitter so don’t get any ideas about breaking into my house because if you do then you’ll be met by the swift fury and unharnessed rage of Gil (Naomi’s ex). Ya, I went down to BevMo and offered him $30 bucks to look after our house and water our plants, etc. So don’t get any ideas.

"Evergreen" Forrest - Posts For Vacation

The Ders Report is going dark… for a bit.  

See, I’ve written a couple holiday-themed posts to cover the travel time and general Thanksgiving celebration duration, and post-dated them to post at appropriate times.  I’ll probably be too busy enjoying myself to give you minute updates on the minutia of my TSA experiences.

Today’s all about getting packed, racked, and ready for my secret destination.  Not going wherever it is Blake and Adam are going.  Definitely going on my own, private trip, that is not my hometown either.  

Witness testimonials to follow.

-Anders Torphin Holmvik, November 2011                                                                 

Nov 22

Pack List (pay no attention)

Putting this on here since I don’t have a notepad handy and need to get my pack list together for my Thanksgiving trip (location TBD).  Pay no attention, this is just for me and I hate to e-mail myself after that “Select All” self-affirmation mishap.

Thanks for respecting my privacy.

DERS PACK LIST - Thanksgiving Trip, 2011 (Confidential Location)

  1. Shirts (2 days, 2 nights, 1 nice dinner, 1 “wild card”)
  2. Pants (2 days, 2 nights, 1 emergency, 1 swimsuit)
  3. Shoes (assorted)
  4. Delicates (2 days, 2 emergency)
  1. Toothbrush & Toothpaste (travel size)
  2. Deodorant, Cologne, 2nd Date Cologne
  3. Hair Materials
  4. Safety Measures (Ribbed?)

DON’T FORGET TO SHAVE “BEARD” AND BEARD.

A Change of Heart

I never thought I’d say/write this, but after a third viewing I’ve decided that I now LIKE the film Purple Rain. I guess I was just in a weird head space when I watched it those other times. This time I was able to see it for what it was, appreciate the craziness and just have a good time. Thanks, Prince (pictured below).

These are the idiots I work with.

These are the idiots I work with.

Nov 21

(Source: slumminitwithsam, via swimthefly)

Not Gonna Half - Ass It At Work Over The Holidays

A lot of people (Waymond, Homegirl) don’t work very hard (or at all) during the holidays. They think that just because it’s relatively close to Christmas Alice will look the other way at/ignore their atrocious work ethic. Like I do every holiday season, I’m going to work extra hard. Not only so I can afford to buy good Christmas presents, but also to show Alice that Anders Holm doesn’t feel entitled to any special Christmas - related treatment.