The Ders Report
The Ders Report, Signing Off…For Now

At the end of all the trash talk, the sabotage and the sex fueled debauchery, the score stands at Ders - 0, Adam - 0. A tie, a pathetic, celibate tie. In the words of Adam DeMamp, “We were going to give each other control of the other’s tumblr for 3 weeks, but that seemed pointless.  Blake correctly pointed out, the only right way to end this bet is for both of us to abandon our tumblr’s. Neither of us won, so both of us lost.

That’s it, folks.

I’ve had a great time writing the Ders report these past few months. I know you’ve come to rely on me for all things football, swimming, wine, fine food and Volvo - related, so I hope you’ll remember all the important things I’ve posted on here and really take them to heart.

I feel a lot like Seth in the first season finale of The OC when he gets on his boat and sails away from everything, except that I’m actually returning to my regular life where everything will be pretty much the same (minus The Ders Report for a few weeks), but the sentiment is similar.

Before I go I want to leave you with a few important tips that will help you become better people:

  • Don’t say epic (in fact, don’t start using whatever the “phrase du jour” is. It’s lazy and it’s always funnier if you think of your own jokes rather than repeating something that’s been said a million times).
  • The world is a big, wonderful place. Challenge yourself by trying things you wouldn’t normally try (over the course of this Tumblr I tried PF Chang’s, prosciutto, craft beer). Broaden your horizons.
  • Watch The OC season 1 with your friends.
  • Don’t assume a massage will be anything more than a massage.
  • Spell check all tweets and Facebook posts before posting them. 

Take it sleazy (I know Adam says that, but I’ve wanted to use it for a while).